10 Signs You Can’t Trust Someone: Here’s How To Fix It
Trust is one of the most basic requirements in any kind of relationship. Whether it’s a relationship between you and your employer, a friend, your partner, or a family member – trust will undoubtedly be a defining factor.
It’s vital to the formation of a lasting bond and a good line of communication.
When we trust others, and they trust us in return, our relationships flourish. While everyone has gut instincts on whether or not they should trust someone, sometimes we tend to ignore those instincts.
If the relationship ends badly, we’re forced to deal with whatever consequences follow.
Therefore, to avoid the heartbreak of broken trust, it’s good to know the signs of an untrustworthy person.
Here a few giveaways that someone may not be worthy of your trust.
Below Are 10 Signs You Can’t Trust Someone
Sign #1: They Are Excessively Charming
Meeting someone friendly and open might seem like an indicator of a trustworthy person.
But there are a lot of people who are good at acting charming!
Underneath that sweetness though, usually lies some unsavory intentions – which are only revealed later, once you’re already invested in the relationship.
By digging deeper into their facade, you’ll notice the recurring pattern of their constant questions about you without revealing any details about themselves.
The typical exchange of information doesn’t occur like it’s supposed to between new acquaintances.
Their real agenda will be revealed sooner or later, but it may be much harder to leave the relationship by then.
Sign #2: They Are Two-Faced
It’s quite safe to say that everyone’s had their experiences with a person like this.
They remain polite around you but spread rumors about you behind your back.
This behavior extends to other people as well, so don’t be surprised when they gossip about others to you. One second, they’re smiling and friendly, and the next, they’re gossiping relentlessly.
As soon as you start to notice this kind of behavior, it’s best is to get out of the relationship – as fast as possible.
Sign #3: They Turn Their Back On You
In Public Perhaps there’s someone you know who seems to enjoy your company when it’s just the two of you, but they’re a completely different person when you are in public.
In fact, whenever you find yourselves around other people or a group of friends – a group that they are trying to impress – they give you the cold shoulder and act as if you don’t even exist.
This switching between behaviors is usually an indicator that someone’s interest in you is superficial, and they are only looking to get something from you.
The moment they get what they are looking for, or if it becomes clear to them that they’re not going to get what they want, the “relationship” ends in an instant.
Sign #4: They Struggle To Empathize
People who lack empathy are much better at being able to deceive or hurt someone – and the ability to empathize with others is something most untrustworthy people lack.
An empathetic person would be hesitant to hurt someone else – since they can imagine the pain their actions could cause.
It acts as a barrier to hurtful behavior.
If someone is capable of – even comfortable with – backstabbing or betraying others, they usually lack empathy.
They likely won’t take responsibility for their damaging actions and don’t even know that they lack the ability to empathize.
Untrustworthy people are self-serving – they care only for themselves and can’t see past their own perspectives.
Some people are even able to use empathy selectively – and only when they stand to gain from it – which can make this trait even harder to spot.
Observing how someone acts toward others, especially those they can’t benefit from, will reveal their true nature.
A lack of empathy is a red flag when it comes to gauging someone’s trustworthiness.
Sign #5: They Breach Confidentiality
You may remember a time when you told a childhood friend something and swore them to secrecy – only for them to blurt it out short while after.
Of course, it felt awful; and you learned quickly that not everyone can be trusted with a secret.
Unfortunately, some people never end up learning the art of keeping a secret – even as they move into adulthood – and it’s definitely a sign of untrustworthiness.
Someone who shares secrets without batting an eye, should not be trusted.
They actively betray any trust they’re given – by telling other people whatever is shared with them. And rest assured, whatever you tell them won’t be treated any differently.
Your private information soon enough will become public knowledge.
A person like this might even enjoy talking about ‘juicy tidbits shared in confidence’ – with whomever they can.
By doing this, they are trying to show off their connections – in the hopes that it will boost their popularity or social status.
But let’s get real.
Without basic respect for confidentiality, there can be no trust.
Sign #6: They Abuse Their Power Over You
Similar to blackmail, once an untrustworthy person has gained your trust or has something on you, little by little, they’ll start using it against you.
It typically has an innocent start; they will be nice to you – although it’s more of a fake niceness.
But if you listen to your instincts, you may get a nudge that something is off about this person.
And your gut response will probably turn out to be right.
So pay close attention to how they interact with others – you will likely notice a similar trend.
Perhaps it’s best just to get out sooner than later – before they end up hurting you somehow.
Sign #7: They Are Fickle
And by ‘fickle,’ I don’t mean merely indecisive.
Let’s be honest.
We can all be a little indecisive sometimes – especially when it comes to trivial stuff, and everyone changes their mind now and then – even about important things.
The difference between being indecisive and someone who is fickle is that none of their decisions are to be trusted, no matter how important they may be.
They’re inconsistent at best, unreliable at worst.
It’s a perpetual pattern – they just flip flop back and forth, and make promises they can’t keep.
Their constant erratic emotions lead them to never be sure of any decision.
In fact, whatever decisions they do make are more likely to be influenced by external factors, rather than being guided by their internal compass – because it isn’t as strong as it should be.
Now, it’s not necessarily the volatile emotional state that indicates untrustworthiness, rather the inability to stick to any decision.
Nonetheless, when someone’s constantly changing their mind, they don’t have any accountability or reliability – which means there’s no way you can trust them.
Sign #8: They Fail To Fulfill Commitments
Constant tardiness is one of the most common indicators of untrustworthiness.
Someone trustworthy will do their best to be on time because they respect you.
That said, sometimes delays are unavoidable, and we may have to cancel plans.
But when that happens, sending a quick message or letting the other person know that you won’t be able to make it, is the responsible thing to do.
If a person never makes an effort to show up on time, never tells you that they’ll be late, or doesn’t bother to show up at all, that’s a clear sign of untrustworthiness.
Changing or canceling plans whenever they want and not caring about the consequences means they don’t value other people’s time.
They don’t see or care about how they affect others.
If it happens in a business setting, it’s rather unprofessional, and this type of behavior will definitely undermine any trust.
Among friends or family, it will become clear that you simply can’t rely on them. Therefore, you can’t trust them.
Sign #9: They Show Narcissistic Traits
Narcissism prevents someone from seeing other people’s perspectives.
Basically, they are the most important thing, and everyone else’s needs are second to theirs.
A person like this can never take responsibility for anything; they make others take the blame for their mistakes.
Regardless of what it is, it’s always going to be someone else’s fault – as they can do no wrong from their perspective.
Clearly, it’s not too difficult to see why a person who’s displaying narcissistic traits isn’t worthy of your trust.
Sign #10: They Are Lying To Themselves
Untrustworthy people often have a serious disconnect from reality.
They see themselves as saints when they’re often the opposite.
Any unsavory behavior will be twisted in their mind into something that fits their narrative.
They will try hard to create a perception that matches their desires. However, the way they ‘see themselves’ and how they ‘actually are,’ don’t match up at all.
Such a distinct disconnect from reality is a definite sign of being untrustworthy – even though they themselves might not be aware of it.
To be clear, we all display a semblance of these behaviors from time to time – no one’s perfect.
But seeing more than one of these signs consistently in a person means that it’s unlikely they are to be trusted.
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Putting your instincts first is ultimately the best thing you can do for yourself – after all, their purpose is to warn and protect you.
If you feel like something is off about someone, and that you shouldn’t trust them, your instincts are probably right.
You can use the signs we just listed to confirm your intuition.
Because weeding out the untrustworthy people from your life will prevent you from getting hurt by them.
What do you think?
Can you remember a time when you had a strong gut instinct not to trust someone, and you went against it?
How did it turn out?
Let us know in the comments below!